Anxious about not writing?
We’ve all heard about writing anxiety: stressing about the daunting prospect of writing a paper or doing a larger writing project.
Writer’s block.
It’s the confounding experience of sitting down to write, and suddenly going blank. All your ideas become a jumbled, tangled mess in your head, and all you can do is stare hopelessly at the one word you typed. It’s a well known phenomenon. If you look it up, you’ll find a plethora of data out there, discussing ways to get over it, and make the words flow.
But there is another kind of writing anxiety.
This is less known about, because it only happens to those who write often enough, and long enough, that a new pattern has established itself. Your brain has already built all the synaptic pathways to keep you coming back to wordsmithing. And when you face writer’s block, you probably already have a wide range of techniques to help you push through it. Writing is not the problem.
Not writing is the problem.
You get anxious, and moody, and upset with yourself if you don’t write. Or if you didn’t write enough. You can’t stop thinking about how you should be writing. You need to write. The ideas you have must find their way onto the page, and it absolutely cannot wait until tomorrow. If life events get in the way, you start blaming yourself, and worrying and stressing about the writing that you are supposed to be doing.
I am here to say this has absolutely happened to me. And I have seen it happen to other writers. Not writing can straight up lead to depression. We can absolutely suffer withdrawal symptoms from it. And, let’s be real: it actually makes a ton of sense. To understand that, let’s take a quick Look at natural drugs our bodies produce when we write—the big four happiness hormones: serotonin, dopamine endorphins, and oxytocin.
Serotonin and Dopamine are tied to writing. Therapists recommend journaling for exactly that reason. Oxytocin is more of a social hormone, but, it too, is activated by noveling. When you ask who your audience is, when you get into the headspace of various characters and work out complex social emotional scenarios, you increase your oxytocin. Even endorphins can be triggered by writing.
In short, we writers can get a natural writer’s high.
It’s a lot like a runner’s high: euphoria achieved after intense exercise, similar to what you might get from mind altering substances. In terms of evolution, we are wired this way on purpose. It helped us escape predators, and track down prey. Its that sense of achievement from pushing through the agonizing low when we think we can’t go any further. If we keep at it, we will break through that seemingly insurmountable barrier, and BOOM! Everything is magical and incredible.
The same thing happens with writing. It’s why we push ourselves so hard, and why we love writing, even when it is absolutely torture sometimes. We are addicted to writing.
Or more specifically, we are addicted to the high we get from writing. It is important to see and understand the fact that we can have this psychological addiction, and find ways to deal with it.
First: admit to yourself that maybe you got hooked, and it is time to slow down. Tell yourself it is actually totally okay to not write sometimes. Allow yourself to work through the feelings that come with stepping back. It’s okay to be upset, and you don’t need to judge yourself for it.
Next: Try finding other ways to get those hormones in your system. Try exercising. Read a book. Do some meditation. If you are social, spend time with friends. Draw, or knit, or craft. Try doing some photography. Listen to music, or play an instrument. Whatever it is you can do to take the edge off, go for it. Remember, it's your body missing the natural high that’s messing with you. These other activities can help you taper down the need to get these hormones by giving you smaller doses so you can function, as your body adjusts to the idea of maybe not relying so much on writing alone to get these very necessary hormones flowing.
Remember: you do not need to stop writing. In fact, if you have a project you are still working on, by all means, keep it up. But pace yourself. If you find yourself getting upset about not writing, if not writing is making you depressed, that’s how you know you need to step back and slow down to reconnect with yourself. Slowing down, in fact, can only improve the quality of your writing. It’s amazing how much just doing life can enrich your narrative. It gives you time to find the little splashes of inspiration which really bring your work to life. Tell yourself it is time to focus on quality over quantity for a bit, and give yourself some ‘me time’ that isn’t just more writing.
Finally, when you feel you have equalized, as you dive into the world of words once more, monitor yourself. Writing is worth it. But you are worth more than your writing. Don’t forget to prioritize yourself. Take a breath, and be kind to you.
Until next time, Stardust. Shine bright, and love yourself.
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