Getting Back in Shape to Heft Hammers

Cat Gravity

Hello, darklings! 

I know, I’ve been a bit absent. Just been busy!

I hosted a Halloween party for a small group. It went well, but a lot of people were dealing with some serious life stuff. There was a sense of peering into their isolation and pain through a thick glass snow globe. Times like this, all I can do is not shake them so they can get a little enjoyment out of the night. And I’ve bony shoulders, but they’re tough enough to let people lean on. 

Sometimes, even though I want to break those glass bubbles, I know I’m in no shape to help whatever might come gushing out. I’ve had that arrogance far too often, and I’m doing my best to curb it. There are times when the best you can do is offer quiet company and hope it’s enough to grant them solace and space to untangle the snarls in their thoughts. When they want an ear to listen, I’ve got two. 

Meanwhile, I’m doing my own time. Thankfully, making gains. Correcting my inner demons, silencing the imposter syndrome, locking up sloth and doing the work on the meat sack. I had a sense of being overwhelmed first part of the month, looking at the future like it’s already ashes, staring at the number of projects needing done with task paralyzation and the distress of impending failure. Time keeps ticking away, and weeks slide by without much accomplishment, and I’m left kicking myself needlessly. 

Trust me, it’s needless. I’m kicking myself for things I’d never kick my friends for, especially with a full plate, and I’m carefully dismantling the self-inflicted mistreatment. I will get it together, but I also know I need to dissect all that so I can move ahead smoothly. Snow globe free. Then maybe I can scoop up that hammer again and measure other walls. 

I’m all about removing barriers, after all. Going to tackle this messily, then see if I can look at performing more demolition with a little more finesse. 

Write hard, corvids, and take extra good care of yourselves and your friends. We need all the Sam Gamgees in the world right now.

Working On: 

I started off my November rough draft project as a fantasy, but not two days in, since I just finished reading Bram Stoker’s Dracula, I got bit by that genre hard, so I’m working on an urban vampire horror/adventure. I’m not complaining too much over it. My muse is keeping me well ahead of my word count and having a ton of fun with it.

Research History This Week That May Have Put Me on a List (or confused whoever monitors me): 

• High altitude foliage, fauna, and crops

• High altitude city commerce

• Alcohol made from different vegetables like beets

• Hiking travel time

• How deadly artery and jugular punctures are

• How long it’d take for a person to bleed out from various wounds

Writing Whoops: 

• I can’t keep “ally” and “alley” apart in my head. I keep thinking alley is an entity in an alliance with another, when that is the narrow path between two buildings.

Things my AI bot has overheard: 

• “Who is murdering who in here?”

• “Get away from the turkey!”

• “Why are you giving me the poop blems? You were out an hour ago. Ugh, fine.”

Beasties Update: 

Beasties are all doing well. I’ve been walking Newt around the yard on a leash for both our benefits. Sirius is of an age that he will do one or two laps before he’s insistent on heading in. Even with the pain meds, his aging is only accelerating and he’s getting tired. As we all inevitably will.

Watching, Reading, Playing: 

Haven’t started any new shows or movies lately. Been reading a fanfic for inspiration where the writer did a robust amount of research on PTSD recovery and service dogs. I’ve been getting a video game itch, but still need to rearrange my entertainment area before I really feel good about settling down to play.